Mental Strength

Pregnant with Gervin made me stonger in mental strength.

Firstly, the pregnancy came as a surprise. I had IUCD inserted, and hence when I discovered I was pregnant after using the test kit, I was very worried that it may be an ectopic pregnancy and may had to abort it. Luckily the ultrasound scan verified that he was ok.

Ultrasound pic of Gervin when he was part of a sac.

Then came the cross-road in my career. I was to meet the VP to prepare for my interview for Level Head on Fri. I verified my pregnancy on Thurs night. Without much consideration, I knew where I should be heading. So, I talked to Mrs Soh on Fri morning, before I spoke to the VP, then the P.

The Maid. Sounds like horror story? It was for me. The first maid was clever. Too clever. There was a short period of time that sometimes I would pause and looked into space at my workplace, wondering what the maid was doing with Gerry at home. When we had a change in maid, it was slightly better, just that the concerns were different - wondering whether Gerry was hurt due to her carelessness or clumsiness.

The older children also required care. Worst episode was the chickenpox. While caring for the older ones, I was constantly mindful of the danger for the unborn one. That was tough, physically and mentally. Then it was handling Gerrard's problem. Bringing him for assessment, accepting it and then went with Liat for his first occupational therapy.

For this pregnancy, I had craving for food in the middle of the night, and that cookies and titbits could not fulfil my eating desire. First time in 4 pregnancies that I asked Liat to buy supper for me. Turned out to be a flat 'I am tired'. So, I ordered and ate Mac many times. Yah, unhealthy food, but what can you get after 11 pm without having to drive out of the house? So I always jokingly tell people that Gervin is a MacBaby.

SVT episodes were different this time. They were intense in the last trimester. There were 2 occasions that the doctors could not convert after the 3 injections of adenosine. Doctors then recommended me a Class C drug - able to cross the placenta and cause baby's blood pressure to drop. I requested for a cardiologist, hoping that the expert can offer me solutions rather than me choose the options. Shifting of responsibility? Maybe. Luckily, the cardiologist on duty was my doctor. He gave me a 4th injection with higher dosage and it worked! I was choked with emotions and tears welled up in my eyes. Is it fear? Or thankfulness? I do not know. I didn't end there. I was given a 14-day MC (longest MC ever taken). There was even a time I had to stay in the hospital.

After all the mental tests, what's next? I know I must take good care of myself. Only then, the children can then be well taken care of.